so, mother in law used to tell my mom that i'm financially capable but very stingy, my wife said the same stuff
so here's the run down
she said about not buying branded bags etc, no SK-II, did they know i spent way more than SK-II on her medications
during 2021 dec, she went back to her mother's place for 1months, did she know that she spent 10million rupiahs? i sent her that much in total...
am i stingy? go find another richer husband then...i'm outta here
i've seen and experienced what it's like in a car inhaling over 50 sprays of rubbing alcohol, enjoyed it together with my kids, i was fast enough to open all windows when i started feeling dizzy, headache and couldn't drive effectively...
that reminds me of how i felt like being treated as a biohazard material everytime i walked into my room, alcohol sprays all over the floor, everywhere for i don't know how many time she sprayed it, it's stings my nose...but everytime i told her, her response was whatever, i don't know, stfu, etc
so now, i will only enter my bedroom when everyone is sleeping...so she can stop poisoning my kids with alcohol...
that's not how you kill the virus anyway...if it's not there, it's pointless to spray alcohol on every step i walked on the floor...it's a closed room, the alcohol goes nowhere, 50 sprays and you expect infant and toddler to inhale it...yes...
i know drinking alcohol cause cancer, but infant and toddler inhaling it for years...or for as long as they're sleeping in this room...for i don't know how many years to come...she's gonna get angry and scold me again? might as well as disown everyone and i live by myself...
i think i have done enough, suffered enough, being patient for years...being treated like this....idk anymore...i can't see my future as a family anymore...all i see is ...suffering...being stepped on...etc
I started doing treadmill, it's 9:30ish PM and the treadmill was just next door, she called and asked me to why treadmill at this hour, stopped in and come in, it's night, taking shower late can cause rheumatic etc, i said nah gotta wait till the store is closed so i keep running...she said whatever
that's right, i can do whatever i want to now, isnt it beautiful?
and why stop running and go into the room? i thought going into the room cause more harm than good? so coming in before 10PM keeps kids awake and i get scolding, but doing stuff outside and wait till 11PM is a no too?
i don't know anymore...lol
here's the thing...i take suggestion, i digest it, process it, and do it if i think it's ok...not being controlled and told what to do and obey it
simple, noone can tell me how to response to a question and who should i befriend with and what should i say to them. i can befriend with anyone i want, i can respond with any statement/gesture or any shit that i want...and i can say wwhatever i want to whoever i want to talk to...not being controlled and on top of that, i can do whatever i want as long as i don't do harmful stuff yeah?
it's 10:08pm, i walked into the bedroom and saw my older daughter awake so i asked if she's going to sleep...the answer i received was almost the same as everytime i walked in with kids awake; "she's falling asleep, your voice/talking wakes her up"...so i stayed quiet until now...all i heard was the usual "whatever i don't care" thingy...
alright, it's a usual topic here to discuss past events and brought it up again...but i still feel her keeping distance from my parents, and keeping kids away from my parents...i can tell that the moment they start caring for my kids, bring her around the house or anywhere nearby, she'll announce it to the world that my parents seized her kid(s) from her.
i don't know, if the time has come...my solution would be stop touching my own kids, stop seeing my own kdis, so noone can SIEZE them from her...easy...noone can touch her kids including me, that's the solution she's been looking for...and i shall grant it
here's what happened most of the time i entered THE bedroom...
kids aren't sleeping or almost asleep, i'll get some complaints/scoldings like bacause of me kids won't be sleeping now, why should i entered the room (it's almost 10PM mind you), i worked all day and haven't take my own bath, and i'm being blamed for getting the kids up
and the rest of the night i'm hearing unmotivational sighs, consisting whatever, i don't care, fuck you, what the fuck
here's the thing, i worked all day, i'm tired, i'm exhausted, i need a refreshing shower before i enjoy the rest of the night and get some rest...all i'm getting is some cursings and scoldings...
being unable to sleep is one thing, adding exhaustion from work is taking a toll on me so i was thinking about going back to my bedroom, fully air conditioned, take a shower, get some rest...perfect....what did i hear?
fuck you, what the fuck
fuck you
fuck you
fuck fuck fuck
whatever, i don't care
and other negative words that i stopped wanting to hear and i don't want to remember
i guess people don't change
so...why bother? put on my earphones, listen to relaxing classical, enjoy my tea....i'm going to make this my day
curse all you want, you're paying it when it's due...because...whatever, i don't care
So this time she bluntly told me no, not going out with my parents and told me she stoped going to her mother's house...
To me, that's irrelevant...and she asked her mother to join in... that's alright... again... I'm not her and i don't think and act like her.
She said she won't feel comfortable, independent by having my parents around...forbidding me to invite my parents out tomorrow.
Why should i say no? I bet she knew her friends hangout with her husband and her in laws...i bet her brother did the same....why? Because that's what ppl do... it's perfectly reasonable, perfectly normal...wanna forbid me? Let everyone else do the same first...and I'll consider it.
It's simple...you don't respect my parents... I don't respect you in return...why? Because they are my parents....
I'll respect my in laws because that's what i was taught and it was in every teachings, be in the 10 commandments, Buddhism Hinduism, taoism, except terrorism...that ain't a teaching... that's a straight to hell, bad shit crazy doctrine that noone else can follow with their common sense ...
But... here's the thing...if we were just holding my children....she would tell everyone that we seized her children, separate her from her children...but when she did it, literally do it worse than us like keeping children to herself and not allowing us to see or touch.... it's alright because she's the mother...while me and my parents are something else....
Bear that in mind....when its 2023, i will file a divorce if things stay the same way...then she can have her children for herself 100%...why would that be my children if me and my parents aren't allowed to be together?
Whatever you can find on the bed, pillow, bolster...1 time with something hard i think its bottle...and feet... there's no better way like i did i?t...by using hand....nudge...tap,pat maybe?
I'm being treated as something else maybe? Idk...really....but I don't wake ppl up like she did because i respect every human being... I'm definitely not like her
alright, this is an update to yesterday's event. We did went to the mall and her plan to the playground with friends were canceled...we ended up leaving at 2PM. instead of 12:30...feeding kids from 12:30 to 2
Here's what happened...still not allowing kids to go near them...even if kids approached them... i can feel the disappointment in the air...
So much hatred....it's so toxic that it has affected me that I wasn't sure this will turn out better in the future if I keep doing this outings more often.
but doing my best to make it happen and everyone has time for bonding is more important.
anyway...so...late night...she requested a peace talk, where everyone is cool headed and reasoning is working optimally...I agreed and her first statement was about her going to the mall with mother in law + kids on saturday...and going to mother in law's home on sunday + kids...she said I resented/disappointed/angry at her for what happened in saturday and sunday, and my family outing was sort of a revenge for that..i was so surprised that the peace talk's first statement was turning out to be a shit talk and I did NOT even think about revenge or anything near that, the fact that i did not even had that idea stunned me and i didn't like it at all...how did it turned out this way? what happened?
anyway, hours of arguments and no solution....i insisted on no hatred and get together with my parents because we're under the same roof and they did nothing wrong but she disagreed and insisted on no reconciliation...
and here's the weirdest part...when we touched the kids, she assumed we ROBBED/SEIZED the kids from her.....but....when she brought kids out with whoever out there......it's alright, it's not like she robbed/siezed the kids from me....and called me unfair being a husband...
so it's like she can do it, she's entitled to do so but none of us could...and called me unfair...
ok....i'm not going to discuss this any furthre so we' have to focus on this 4 months time we have...either play nice and be good to everyone and no hatred, just reconsile...or be the same as always...
i'm leaning towards a divorce, so there won't be any argument of me robbing/seizing kids from her...she can have those kids 100% and i'll leave...i don't feel like being a father to my kids and i don't feel like being treated as a husband.
alright, so I always said OK whenever she told me about going out with her mother (bringing childrens with her)...and I always said OK as well when she said going out with friends + childrens
And I thought...why wouldn't I do the same? hangout with my parents once in a while...I should do that as often as she did it...it'll be fun...the more the merrier, right?
Here's what happened, i said i'm bringing everyone to the mall...she said she had promised friends to go to the playground with kids, i said uh...ok...either way...just make a schedule and we'll do both...we've got entire day free today...going to the playground wouldn't take over 2 hours anyway.
Let's see if she's dragging this to avoid going out with my parents and prevents children to communicate or go near my parents...I've got the feeling that nothing changed so far...it's still about selfishness, hatred, and revenge...while i can tell my parents are being transparent..no hate, just love...they never do anything wrong, no anger, no hatred, no verbal abuse, just smile...apparently it was not well received by the other party...she claimed that my parents are giving her cold shoulders...well...from what I saw, it's a no, it was her own assumption, her own mind playing trick on her and she's buying it.
I didn't make this up, i can tell my in laws knew about this too...it would be rude to say delusional wouldn't it? i did not say that or mean it...i didn't even think about it...just to clarify.
we'll see how it goes, my prediction would be wasting time and then said going out with friends...followed by friends wanting to go out for lunch...hangout with them again...and then it's late so no malls with my parents...but hey...that's just me guessing the outcome.
i'm out...peace!
I don't know why but she's not allowing kids to bond with my parents. I personally would love my kids to be able to interact with any family member...any...my own parents, my relatives, my in-laws...
the thing is...she doesn't like bonding with family members but friends...and not allowing kids to bond with them either...i think that's absurd...
blaming my parents for not being kind to her...well...from my perspective as a third person...sure they have different opinions sometimes....but that doesn't mean they're against you and you make enemies out of them.....where's the so called tolerance? having different thoughts, different ideas, etc...it's a common thing and we learn to respect each others ideas, thinking, beliefs etc...not to tell them go f themselves because the outcome wasn't within your expectation...
I'm not being neutral and I'm on my parents side? nah...I explained that it's a common sense thing...if I were wrong, why did the same thing happeend to her own family members? not talking to her own mother and sister in law because of some differences? see where this is going? If I were wrong, tell me...
so...I explained for hours and guess what...noone listened but gaming on a tablet instead...I'm sooo gonna do the same next time when she has something to explain...but then...nah...i may or maynot do it...
alright...here's what i'm gonna do...i'll do what I think it's right...regardless of her own opinion unless it make sense...i'm gonna bring my kids downstairs to bond with my parents...it's no harm anyway...
For the record, it was not me and not because of me that she turned out to be like this. She was like this from the beginning, i was just being tolerant way before she moved in.
Wanna blame me for being soft and too soft? that was the request of the late father in law and late grandmother in law.
Since it has come to this, from this day onward, I will not honor that particular request...
scolding me as if something bad would have happened first.
easy example, refilling a jug of water and baby tried interfered by putting her hand in the water. her hands did not touch the water but here comes the scolding, what i did was play along alright, throw the water then, and the scolding continues, blaming me being mad, i wasn't...the point is, why did i get the scolding, and the answer was straight forward, prevention is beetter.....by scolding at me as if it would have happened? and if it didn't happen then? forget it just like that huh?
i will not take any responsibility on this part. it's not me who keep on yelling the f word in front of children.
also, yelling non motivational words like "i hate everything" "i hate everyone" "whatever, i don't care" in front of children...i'll leave this to you in the future...not that i don't care but everytime i give a warning, everything becomes worse and it's my fault.
so...my woman said this...
do you think other housewives aren't scolding their own husbands? you just don't know it. even tv drama shows housewives scolding their own husbands.
does that give her a reason to scold me? like i was working and not talking to her during my working hour at my store
where should i start now? let's see...
taking care of 2 toddlers aren't easy and everybody knows that. Hiring a sitter isn't necessary when there're people living under the same roof willing to help, it's way better than a baby sitter anyway. So we did help taking care of 1 toddler, that should make life easier and guess what? I get the all-of-you-won't-allow-me-to-take-care-of-the-baby feedback in return. The reason we did this was because having 1 mother taking care of 2 toddlers was tough and to make it worse, the mother wouldn't allow anybody else in the household to help except me, the husband, which kinda disabled me to do any other kind of work.
Another thing happened today, i was just moving around the bed to feed the baby midnight and those movements on the bed woke her up and annoyed her. "you woke me up" "are you mad at me?"...those are coming out of her mouth.
I don't blog shit up, i usually forget about all of them and move on, trying to live a happier life. It's kind of forgiving and not to bring it up and make things worse in the future, so it's better to forget them....
but after all those thing happened and I was in the brink of giving up...I decided to jot stuff down this time.
